How to have the talk dating

how to have the talk dating

I hate that saying, it's annoying, but in the case of dating, it's true. It felt way too soon to have the exclusivity talk with Sixth Date Guy, but too. Dating someone new is exciting and refreshing. That is, of course, until you decide to have the "ex talk" — you know, tell them about the. Having “the talk”, also called the DTR or Define the Relationship talk, is the sometimes-terrifying conversation you have with someone you’re seeing where you discuss your mutual understanding about your romantic relationship. Here’s how to have the exclusive relationship.

That all changed one night when I introduced him to my friends for the first time.

how to have the talk dating

The night started out great, we had some drinks and went to a bar with some of his friends. In addition to a fresh coat of powder and gloss, I left the bathroom with a giant chip on my shoulder.

Later that night, fueled by tequila and insecurity, I absolutely needed to know the status of our relationship, like right this second. As soon as he and I were alone back at his place, the tsunami brewing in my head all night came rushing forth, catching my guy completely off guard.

how to have the talk dating

In the end, I had no title and a severe lacking in dignity those got washed away by a flood of drunk tears…the absolute worst kind of tears. The relationship trudged on for some time, but the dynamic had completely changed.

how to have the talk dating

From then on he always felt out of my reach. The terms of the relationship became entirely his to dictate and I anxiously waited for him to pick me, while I tried to prove that I was good enough and worthy of being his girlfriend.

Try not to have it. Relationships work best when you can just live in the moment and let things unfold naturally, without pressure or an agenda. Give it some time.

How to Have “The Talk” to Define Your Relationship

I would say wait about two to three months before getting into the title talk. Relationships take time to develop. Every relationship is a unique experience and moves at a different rate.

By that point, you should have an idea of where things are headed.

How to Have “The Talk” to Define Your Relationship

Be clear on what you want before you go in. Right after we went on our first date, I met another guy at a wedding I attended.

We exchanged numbers, I heard from Wedding Guy a few days later and he informed me that he was having surgery and would be out of commission for a few weeks. Our connection was growing. When Wedding Guy was healthy and called me to make a date, I panicked.

How to Have the Exclusive Relationship Talk and Not Be Weird

It felt way too soon to have the exclusivity talk with Sixth Date Guy, but too far in for me to go out on a date with someone else. And was Sixth Date Guy going out with other girls?

Did that mean I was more into him than he was into me? Was I going to ruin everything by making the wrong decision? Let me jump right to the lesson. I was approaching this dating dilemma in the wrong way. I was dating multiple people preemptively, to avoid getting hurt or I was assuming exclusivity until the guy confirmed otherwise.

I was waiting for someone else to make a decision about what felt right for me. How dumb is that? This time, I decided I was waiting for no one, I would make my decision based on what felt comfortable to me, regardless of what Sixth Date Guy was doing. I contacted Wedding Guy and told him the truth: Maybe he would have gone on the date. Sixth Date Guy is following what feels right for him.

How to Have the Exclusive Relationship Talk and Not Be Weird

The point of all this? There is no right decision you can make, in regards to dating other people, that will make you feel any less vulnerable when getting to know someone. But this I can say for sure: Being honest about what feels right to you makes it way easier to sleep at night. August 13, About the Author: