I don't have any problems with it, and it doesn't change that we're best friends, but I'm worried about him. He's in a relationship with this jerk at school who is. The Cut's advice columnist, Heather Havrilesky, tackles readers' dating and relationship questions in her column Ask Polly. Anna said: Tell me your problems and I will try to give you the best advice, the what do i do about my best friend dating a guy who hates me and makes me feel . Awesome welcome to Teen Girls Advice Column, I am the head mod and.
You have a problem. The kind of respect that causes her to honor your decisions even though she does not like them. You are going to need help. If you cannot keep her home at fourteen, she will be totally unmanageable at sixteen. You will need to act quickly and decisively.
If her father is anywhere in the picture, pull him in, a young girl needs guidance from a caring father. In most states, statutory rape laws are still in the books. Make sure the photographer knows you will use them. Get yourself into family counseling with someone who can help you regain and maintain your authority. The ToughLove programs have also been very successful. Web My father kicked me out of the car yesterday and told me to walk home.
He said I was talking out of line. It took me all afternoon to get home. It was almost twelve miles. It is your move. You owe him an apology. He is your father. Begin with a humble "I am sorry," and admit your error. Tell him you want to improve your relationship. Then close your mouth and listen to his answer. Solutions are best worked out when people stop talking or thinking about what they are going to say next, and instead listen carefully. Web, My sons ages nine and twelve were discussing health issues with me the other day and my youngest asked me whether I had had sex with other men besides their father.
Although my older son was not directly engaged in the conversation I could tell from his posture he was intently listening. I ignored the question but I know it is going to come up again.
Relationship Advice: Relationship Advice for Kids and Teens
The truth is that I had several sex partners before my husband. What should I do when this question comes back up? Unless the poor dears are tripping over your discarded lovers at every turn, your past belongs to you and needs no explanation. A bland statement such as "Daddy was the only man for me", or "Daddy was the first man I ever loved! Anything questions beyond that is "getting into our sex life, which is our personal, private business".
How can I convince her that there is nothing wrong with them? Most mothers are not willing to let their fifteen-year-old daughters attract that kind of attention.
Most mothers also know that modesty has its own charms. Settle on a more modest two piece suit. Web, I was planning to begin researching colleges and universities this fall as a junior. I have had a lot of luck recommending Choosing the Right College: Most people have really found it helpful.
I found it informative and broad in scope. I hope a book two evaluating the second hundred schools comes along soon. When I asked my sister, she told me if I told she would kill me. They are afraid to tell my parents. The baby comes first.
Your sister, her boyfriend, his parents, and your parents have a lot to talk about. They have decisions to make about their upcoming child and grandchild. This is a difficult and sad time for your family. Web, My daughter wants to pierce her navel and needs my permission. She is fourteen and I am not crazy about the idea. A navel ring would make a funny bump in the modest, one piece, skirted, bathing suit you are insisting that she wear to the beach this year… No, no, no, different letter…sorry!
My opinion is that children should not be given permission to mutilate their bodies with piercing and tattoos. What is desirable at fourteen may not be wanted or appropriate at twenty-four.
Everybody eighteen and under or dependent on their parents for support is still a child as far as Dear Mrs. I work and so does my wife. We have one son who is fourteen. We don't like leaving him alone but he can't go to daycare and is too old for a sitter.
He refuses to go to day camp, says he's tired of it. He has three weeks of away camp in the Rockies coming up but my wife and I have are having a hard time coming up with what to do with him until school starts. Have you thought of taking a couple of weeks off and spending some time with him?
Fourteen year olds need lots of time with their parents. If time off is not possible what about unpaid internships at your offices? Or with an adult you trust who shares an interest with your son? Teenagers need adult attention and contact and a sense of purpose. Web, My husband has Playboy, Penthouse and Hustler magazines in our house. I recently found our twelve-year-old son with one in his room. I took it away from him.
But I am not sure about how to handle this. I really don't think they are good for him. My husband thinks I am overreacting. Not wanting your son to play "inspector" with the detailed pictures of naked women sounds pretty normal to me. Your husband is already an "inspector", though. Sounds like a clash of values to me.
Since the porn is already in the house the both of you will need to decide at what age it is appropriate material for your son. By the way, I have never met anyone whose personality or character was improved by porn.
Web, Do you think my mother has the right to go through my private and personal stuff in my drawers? Let's get away from that word. This is not a constitutional issue.
Your mom has a responsibility to make sure you are safe and healthy. If she is concerned about you she has the responsibility to find out truth and monitor you in any way she can. Your stuff is yours only in the sense that she has made it possible for you to have it by paying the freight on everything else, the mortgage, the utilities, the insurance, and so on.
Web, My brother is taking a lot of drugs. He moved out about a year ago but stops back to wash his clothes and hang around a couple of times a month. He works in a kitchen at a restaurant. I know he took it but I can't prove it. When I told my parents they seemed upset, but didn't really say anything to him. I am fifteen and I haven't said anything either.
The money is missing and you are right, your brother probably took it. I would tell him the money is missing and that you suspect him and are disappointed. Ask for the money back. But don't expect it back. You have paid a high price to learn that illegal drugs turn family members into strangers.
Open a bank account and lock you possessions up. Tell your parents about ToughLove, an organization that can help them. Web, I am the mother of two grown sons both in college. I have been widowed for more than 12 years. My husband, John died in a terrible industrial accident. When he died I told the boys that Dad was hit on the head and died. My sister says I should sit them down and tell them all the details. She thinks I am awful not to have told them the truth.
Your sister has an agenda. This is none of her business. If they want to know the details they will ask. Web, I am concerned about my year-old son. He has started hanging around with "the wrong crowd". He was a good student until the last quarter but his grades have been going down. I asked him if he is doing drugs but he says no.
Last week, he even came home with is tongue pierced! That was the last straw! He is a smart kid but I am afraid that if he keeps it up, he will get into some kind of trouble. How can I talk to him? Teenager boys who develop radical changes in their grades and behaviors need evaluation and help. Counseling with a person with experience with adolescents would be a start.
Call your MD and have your son tested for drugs and alcohol. Contact the local ToughLove chapter in your area to get some help in setting boundaries for your son. This is the time to jump in with the big guns and have them be effective — not one, two or ten years into this behavior. Who knows, maybe the tongue ring will disappear. Dear Mrs Web, My children are now 11 and 14 and I am planning to go to school full time and finish my degree so I can go back to work and find a good job when college bills come in.
The problem is that I still don't feel right leaving the children to themselves. They are not too thrilled either. But they certainly are old enough, aren't they? Someone wise once described adolescents as "like two year olds, only needier.
Developmental brain changes and school and social pressures may require you to put your plans on hold a bit. More than one mother I know started work when the youngest was in school but came home again when the oldest reached teen years to help them through this time.
Web, There is a family in our town where the parents are friends of all the teenagers. These parents hang out with the teens and actually you can't easily tell them apart from the teens except he has gray hair. They are pierced and tattooed and cool.
My children speak of this couple with great awe. Their own teens are leaders of the odder groups at school and lead cafeteria protests on occasion. Although I am not sure why, my wife and I are not thrilled about our kids going over there after school. You probably are not happy about these people because they are not acting like adults. Let's face it, very few adults want to follow teenage fashions, trends and values because these things are immature and juvenile.
Adults who follow them may be showing an extraordinary lack of judgment. Web and I never allow our children to go to the homes of people we don't know. When I say, "know" I mean have a good idea of their values. You will want to meet with these people a few times and get a sense whether you feel they would be positive influences in your children's lives. Web, My daughter is nearing puberty.
I need to talk to them about the details. I cannot handle it. When my little girls started developing breastlings and hiplets I immediately began to start telling them of the "wonders of womanhood.
I brought in the appropriate equipment and familiarized them with it. I also found a book about puberty that I could stomach. Most of them have a distinctively radical feminist, permissive, your-body-as-a-tool perspective that doesn't sit well with me.
I have none to recommend but will consider all suggestions. Web, My mother and father won't let me go on dates with boys. They won't even let me group date. The fifth grade end- of- year dance is coming up and I am not allowed to go.5 Tips for a Successful Young Relationship
All the other kids are there with their steady boyfriends. He wants me to go to the dance. He will break up with me if I don't go. The big reason you asked for advice is to figure out which is more important to you: Would that be enough for you, while being acceptable to your parents? If there is no way your parents will ever accept him and there is no way you can live on your own if they throw you out of the house, then I think you have to very seriously consider giving him up as your boyfriend.
One very important thing for you to know is that you can fall deeply in love at age 16, and fall out of love when you least expect it.
In the later teenage years and early 20's, people learn so much about themselves and often can change a lot. Because of the fact that you change, the person you loved at a younger age may no longer be right for you. It may not feel like that now, but you can definitely fall in love again, and maybe with someone who will be even better for you.
Of course, it is painful to break up with someone you are in love with. However, if that is your decision, you must understand that the pain will pass with time. You will miss him at first, but if you socialize with friends in your religious group then you might meet another boy who you really like, who is acceptable to your family. An important lesson for you is that it is not a good idea to sneak out of the house to meet a boyfriend, as this makes it more likely that your parents will not trust you.
GR Teens - Girls: Advice Column Showing of
As you become older and more independent, your parents should see you have good judgment and so should be able to trust your choices. The fact that you were beaten for seeing Matthew makes me very concerned for you. I understand that some religious beliefs and families think of a beating as a way to punish a kid so they do not repeat behavior they think is wrong or dangerous.
I also know that there is a difference between a one-time slap in anger and an extended beating, possibly involving fists or straps. Given what you said, I think you should find an adult to discuss this situation with right away, especially if you have been beaten before for other reasons. You can talk with a guidance counselor at school. If you are afraid the school will call your parents and do not want that to happen, then find a local Women's Shelter and ask to talk with someone there.
Your safety is very important. You do not deserve to be beaten for any reason. Top of Page — October 6, — Hello! Last month, I started liking this guy.
I had never had anyone like me back, and I thought he would be the one to finally feel the same way. I was so sure that he liked me, he was always complimenting me, and walking to classes with me, and he's just the sweetest guy in general. Two days ago, he asked me for my number and I was so happy, because I had been wanting his number, but had been too scared to ask. After chatting for about thirty minutes, he asks me about this other girl that we're both friends with.
Long story short, he revealed to me that he actually likes her and went on a love-rant about how she's just so gorgeous, the love of his life, his true love, the only thing that makes him happy, etc. He said that he's liked her since school started, but now I realized that he wasn't even friends with me until he saw I was friends with her.
I felt heartbroken, because I felt like he had betrayed me by not only going to her, but by also becoming so close to me with the intention of using me to get to my friend. Let's call her Lisa. I know that Lisa likes the boy back, let's call him Ken so if Ken asked her out, she would definitely say yes.
Now, Ken is trying to get me to help him ask Lisa out and then to homecoming. I've been trying to act happy about the whole thing, since I can't let him know how much he hurt me.
But today, Ken confided in me that he actually has a girlfriend, let's call her Annawho he never broke up with. He doesn't want to break up with her, because he's worried about hurting her feelings, but he's about to go start a new relationship and neither of the girls will know about the other one! He told me not to tell anyone, because he trusts me, but I'm really conflicted. Even though he broke my heart, I still feel like I'm in love with him and I don't want to betray him.
I know that if I told his girlfriend what he was doing, she would confront him, and he would immediately know I told her, since I'm the only one he told. That would cause me to lose both Lisa and Ken as friends. But if I don't tell her, I can keep my friends, but I'll feel so guilty! I've told some of my other friends and they all think I should tell his girlfriend, because she deserves to know. I even think his girlfriend is onto him, saying she heard rumors that he has a "side chick" named Lisa.
Which ever way I go, I'll be hurting someone. Should I help the girlfriend or the "side chick"? Thank you so much. Ken thinks that he's sparing Anna's feelings by not breaking up with her, but if he starts dating Lisa before breaking up with Anna, Anna will be even more hurt than if he just broke up with her in the first place.