What’s Dating Like in Japan for Foreign Women?
When it comes to international marriages, Japanese men tend to choose brides from Asian countries, particularly China and the Philippines. “White women are what we feel Japanese men are looking for. If a Japanese guy is going to date a foreigner, this is what a beautiful foreigner. This is very true in Japan as well, where a survey in showed that many Japanese aren't really dating. Also, being a foreigner and trying to.
I think because of the language and cultural barrier often conversations can be quite superficial — this or that recommendation of what to do in Japan, or do you like this Japanese food etc. Are a lot of people dating in Japan?
Is there really a casual dating culture here?
7 Reasons Why Japanese Girls DON'T like Foreign Guys - Tokyo Night Owl
Yeah, it seems like back home dating is really much more frequent. I mean I think that people will go on lots and lots of dates, going in and out of relationships over their twenties and kind of assessing what they want before they settle down. My experience dating foreign guys here has been comparable to back home — so pretty awful actually — but the general picture of foreign guys in Japan is that they really want to date Japanese girls.
Actually I think that must be difficult for foreign guys especially.
What’s Dating Like in Japan for Foreign Women?
Are relationships more conservative here? Hmm the dynamic between men and women I think is more traditional then back home.
Yeah I wonder about relationship equality. The number of Western foreigners is still small compared with other countries of Japan's 2. When it comes to universities, while Westerners make up a bigger part of the population there, they tend to be concentrated in English-taught programs, in which less Japanese students enroll.
On top of which, as this study on relational mobility in Japan examines, Japanese people in general are far less inclined than people from other cultures to disclose personal information to new people, making it hard to take that first step in initiating a relationship—which can be a problem if you're from a culture where women aren't used to making the first move.
This, coupled with what we mentioned above in terms of numbers, make it less probable for Japanese men to meet Western women on the whole. More importantly, while occasional meetings might happen at social occasions or at social locations like pubs or clubs, Japanese men seem to also be blocked by their sometimes accurate, sometimes not perception of their own lack of English skills—leading many to eliminate themselves even before finding out if the other party speaks Japanese or not!
7 Reasons Why Japanese Girls DON’T like Foreign Guys
This, coupled with Western women possibly being perceived as strong and assertive compared to the traditional if gradually shifting Japanese expectation of a docile homemaker, might lead many shyer men to just give up, as lamented by blogger Reannon Muth.
Regardless, fear of talking to Western women—for whatever reason—is suggested as a major factor in this Madame Riri article in Japanese that summarizes opinions from a number of Western bloggers, including our own Zooming Japan. In their minds, Western men are stronger, taller, more masculine… you get where we're going. This is reinforced by media stereotypes: However, many women who come to live in Asian countries find Asian men as attractive as any other man on the planet, and some might even prefer Asian features over Western ones, as author Caroline Pover discusses in her book, Love With a Western Woman: A Guide for Japanese Men.
So while this stereotype may be informing—and limiting—the actions of Japanese men, it's high time for them to let it go!
One first worry comes from pure logistics. Once the couple is married, what country are they going to settle in?
This question is especially daunting if the potential wife is a woman with her own career. Beyond language and job barriers, thoughts go to the couple's parents: Thinking about this issue is worrisome for everyone, but it becomes especially problematic in a country where the eldest son is traditionally expected to care for the parents in his own home.
These worries are clearly expressed by interviewees in blogger Yuta Aoki 's video below: How have your dating experiences in Japan been overall?
That being said, I can remember feeling like I was always having to be a model woman — like if I had to blow my nose I was just gross or wrong. With my guy, there was a huge language gap. We met through Tinder, and he could write pretty well in English, but when we actually met in person, not so much.
It was hard, no, it was awful, and we ended up breaking up because neither of us was happy in the end. Well, one of these guys texted me 2. It was almost a weekly occurrence.
But one time, I was in a rush and cut in line and my Japanese boyfriend said it was a stupid thing to do.