Should I join a dating agency? | Money | The Guardian
Multi-Award winning Drawing Down the Moon is the UK's premier matchmaking and personal introduction agency. Established in a Bloomsbury Bookshop in. An exclusive dating agency providing a professional personal introductions service. Our bespoke introductions agency matches people throughout the UK. Bored with being single, I'm thinking of joining a dating agency, but I've no idea where to start. How can I tell which are good and which are.
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You can also browse members' details before joining. After meeting several likeable guys, I met my life partner. Obviously there is no guaranteed outcome, so it's important to go with the agency you trust. As for being desperate, the stigma is much less than it was.
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Louise Wearne, email Get out and about Firstly, make sure you are happy with your life as it is. Dating will not "cure" any problems or personal issues. Secondly, get out as much as you can. Join anything that may interest you, contact every friend in your address book and say "yes" to every reasonable invitation.
Thirdly, research your ideal way to go looking - agencies, internet, speed dating etc. Be prepared to develop some understanding of what you are looking for in a date, which will help avoid unnecessary spending. At least then, even if there is no one you fancy you are sure to find someone you can get on with and have a laugh, and you're having a holiday into the bargain.
I went on three or four singles holidays - on the first one I met a man I went out with for two years and had a great holiday sailing in the Aegean as well. Alex Bardswell, Dorset Whale of a time When I was single in the early nineties I had a whale of a time meeting scores of men through dating agencies. However, it was very expensive, some were better than others and not necessarily proportional to their cost. I met my partner more than 10 years ago when I answered his ad in the Guardian Soulmates feature.
There's nothing wrong with being desperate, but try to enjoy the single state simultaneously! Judy Gardner, Shropshire Don't hunt desperately When I was single I tried speed dating and Soulmates instead of expensive dating agencies. The speed dating event was great fun 8 out of 12 men ticked me! My experiences made me feel that dating should be more about having a nice time and choosing someone I wanted to spend time with than desperately hunting for anyone who would have me.
I stopped panicking about finding a man and met someone at work shortly afterwards. Louise Marr, Manchester Oasis of eligible men Don't sit around and wait for someone just to turn up.
When I split up with my husband a few years ago I was shocked at how tough it was to meet decent single men. Set up 3 or 4 dates before you go on your first one - this ensures you've got something to look forward to if it's not the romantic ideal you hoped for. Find somewhere private to access the site and your messages - do you really want the whole office to know? I have to admit that the reason I'm such an advocate is that I met my boyfriend this way and it was the first date I went on.
Beth, London This week's question I'm going to have children and would like to be able to stay home with them. Which is best financially - doing our best to lower our outgoings so we can live on my husband's income; or running some sort of a home business to increase our income? Any tips on how best to cope financially and stay at home with the children? I was drawn to the idea of a personalised service that would be discreet yet effective, so I used the web instead to search for a traditional matchmaker.
Most matchmakers I came across were clearly seeking wealthy, international clients, typically with offices in Mayfair. The one I picked appeared more down to earth, its premises located outside central London. She was well spoken, in her early thirties, attractive and not pushy. Part of my brain began turning: Then, a house call. My matchmaker informed me that, to get to know me, she needed to visit my home.
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- Should I join a dating agency?
Exactly how all this fed into the matchmaking process, I never would come to know, aside from it perhaps confirming that I was good for the fees. Related article Why spend thousands on a matchmaker when there are so many free apps?
She enjoys walking, family, socialising. Less straightforward was my attempt to get that profile memorialised in the contract somehow. Yet my matchmaker was very good at not using aggressive sales tactics. Take your time; look at other options, she advised, while emailing me teaser profiles: However, matchmaking is different. It deals in affairs of the heart.
Matchmaking for Life
A contrarian, non-commercial streak in me embraced the romanticism of it all. Certainly I was persuaded that it would be odd, and probably indeed impossible, to pay a financial bounty upon meeting a romantic partner.
Moving in together, marriage? None of this adequately explains why per cent of the fees needed to be paid up front. This was never convincingly answered, perhaps because my agency never needed to. It would be unfair to call introduction services confidence tricks, but my role in the arrangement increasingly came to feel like that of the mark. There would be no close matches — not even a short-term relationship, let alone anything serious or marriage.
One of the very first matches was the most promising: But a month later, her calendar miraculously opened up. Within six months, my matchmaker had gone on maternity leave and was replaced by two other staff members. Before long, I asked for a partial refund and you can guess how that went. One curiosity throughout these match-made dates was that I, the man, invariably felt an obligation to foot all bar and restaurant bills.
This was, apparently, the norm in these higher-end dating arrangements: Why should this be, in an era of greater gender equality? Just how unbalanced could things get on this expensive dating journey?